“Wanna a drink?”
I smiled. “Sure! Same old place?”
“Ok.”
These are happy moments of life, just a drink together is enough to ease the burdens weighting on the fragile shoulders. Maybe someone may ask: what is the joy of just a drink?
Well, they may not have the feel or appreciate it but to me, it is a great comfort to sit with somebody who is able to share your worries and chat about almost everything: old times, current affairs and even dreams that seem too fantastic.
I gazed at him as we stirred our drinks. He felt my gaze and lifted his brows. That the way he would ask in silence, “So what’s that worries you these days?”
Words were unsaid but we understood each other with just a gaze, a shrug of the shoulders or a sigh which meant – that’s life! Following a smile that was a mixture of bitterness and comfort, I sipped my drink in silence for some time.
“You do look tired and worn out,” he remarked suddenly.
“Oh?” I looked up, a bit surprised.
“Try to take a break whenever you can. You really need to take care of yourself.”
I took a deep breath. Deep in my heart, emotions were churning round and round and I felt a burning sensation in my eyes.
“I will, thanks.” I tried to beam back, pretending that I was perfectly fit as a fiddle.
“I know days have been harsh with you without me, but I can’t help it. I just need a turn in life, some direction that will lead me to where I should actually belong to.”
I beamed again.
“Thanks for all the support through my blues, yet I just walked out, leaving you behind. Sometimes I do feel guilty to do so as I know that you will be quite desperate, with no one to lean to. You are the type who will go on no matter how harsh life is with you. ”
“So?” I raised my brows as he did. Actually I found that it was a good way to pass a message unspoken , yet understood.
He smiled and shrugged his shoulders, “Just want you to know that I care, really.”
“I know - all the time. Or else, there won’t be teas together, right?”
“Haha, that’s you!”
“I do appreciate what you have done for me too. Sometimes I feel that it’s that spiritual support that has dragged me on. No matter what, life has to go on, regardless of the pain that lies in the dark, waiting to pierce the heart. ”
“Sometimes, I really think it this way - only if there is a way for you to walk out. You don’t deserve to suffer all these…….” he trailed off.
I sighed, a long, not-knowing-what-to-say sigh. Then I remembered something as I looked at him, “Well, it seems you have not sighed for a long time, right? Since you left us, you must not have sighed again. And you don’t need that anymore.”
He raised his brows again, gazed at me for some time and then smiled. “Ha, I don’t know. Too busy to realize it.”
I stirred the ice cubes, making them clink.
He used to sigh endlessly as he busied himself with the unending duties and we used to copy his sighs. He would protest it was his registered trade mark and that we should not ‘use’ it without his permission!
He had been so unhappy and had been wanting to make a turn, yet could not bear to leave us behind. It was hard to make his final choice but now I knew he had made the right one. No more sighs and he seemed so contented with his new working environment. What else could I do but bless him all along?
“Why are you suddenly so silent?”
I looked up and remarked, “Thinking about things…..”
“Oh?”
“Lots…. The past, the present but definitely not the future…..” I shrugged my shoulders.
His eyes ran over me as I tried to put on my best smile. Deep in my heart, I just knew it was as insincere as most of my beams. He knew it too but he did not say anything. These were the moments which no words need to be spoken, yet a strong bond was there, though invisible.
“I need to make a move.”
“Okay,” I held out my hand.
“Tea again?”
“Sure!” I smiled as I felt the tight grasp. “Any time you can make it.”
“Keep in touch and,” he winked at me, “take care. I mean it seriously.”
I beamed back - a sincere beam and I just knew that he felt it the same way.
